I WOULD LITERALLY DIE IF A BB SEAL CAME SCOOTING UP TO ME
You would literally die because it’s mother would kill you. SEALS ARE DANGEROUS
APPARENTLY JENSEN ACKLES IS A MALE VERSION OF ME WHATTTT
WE APPARENTLY HAVE SIMILAR BONE STRUCTURE AND EYES (i’m pretty sure my friend is insane)
APPARENTLY JENSEN ACKLES IS A MALE VERSION OF ME WHATTTT
This College Girl Is A Teen Mom And She Has A Secret That No One Knows
Real thug tears
Greek history jokes? Minotaur jokes? Anyone?
still my favorite
an example of perfect, perfect comedic timing in comic panels
love the last face hahaha
BRAND NEW INFORMATION
MY MOTHER HAS JUST INFORMED ME THAT IN THE 60S, THE UNIVERSITY OF NEW SOUTH WALES BOASTED AN OFFICIAL WIZARD
HIS NAME WAS IAN CHANNEL
HE WAS A SOCIOLOGIST
HE IS ALSO KNOWN AS “THE WIZARD OF NEW ZEALAND”, APPARENTLY BEING ON RECORD AS “THE COUNTRY’S ONLY OFFICIAL WIZARD” AFTER RETIRING THERE IN 1974
HE STARTED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF NEW SOUTH WALES IN 1967
AND IN 1968 THE UNIVERSITY MADE HIM THEIR OFFICIAL WIZARD
MY MOTHER WAS A STUDENT THERE DURING HIS TENURE
ACCORDING TO HER, “EVERYONE WOULD GATHER WHEN THE WIZARD WOULD SPEAK”
HIS PHD WAS CANCELLED DUE TO HIS MAKING “INSUFFICIENT PROGRESS" ON IT
HE FOUNDED A STUDENT POLITICAL GROUP CALLED THE BLACKGUARDS
AND HE LOOKED LIKE THIS
I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE PATRIOTIC THAN IN THIS MOMENT
Oh, yeah, the wizard, I think he lives in my home town now? His partner was one of my supervising teachers last year. He’s just like, yeah, he’s our wizard.
The cathedral in that picture, however, is gone.
This one time he sailed out into international waters to avoid the census because no one turns a wizard into statistics.
that police guy from teen wolf looks like the love child of tom hiddleston and steve rogers
at first i looked at this like “oh look tom hiddleston” but then i was like “oh no thats chris evans” wHat iS hapPenning
with eyes like that? think there is some jensen ackles in there tbh
Harry Potter characters as Disney characters by Makani.
THESE ARE THE PERFECTEST VERSIONS OF THE HP CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
*walks into starbucks with acoustic guitar* ohhhh there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red
All you need to know about Christchurch right now is there are eels swimming around the streets.
This actually happened today, lol.
Name: Once Upon a December (Piano Version)
where stiles is a succubus afraid to kiss and feeds of the love infused in foods made from people that love him. and the sheriff is worried that he didn’t have time to make a loving lasagne full of love that his son will starve. so melissa bakes him cookies but she’s busy with work. so stiles discovers the hale bakery where derek pours his emotions into his food. and stiles is in love but dares not get too close because he fears he’ll suck the life from derek. meanwhile derek is conflicted because he’s also a creature of the night. scott tells stiles he should practice kiss to make it non-lethal. and stiles is like, I CAN’T DO THAT TO YOU SCOTT. and scott makes him empanadas filled with loving feelings and they play mario cart
ok but what if derek finds out about the whole stiles-the-succubus thing but he’s feeling a little bit shy about the whole thing because stiles absorbs love from food. how cute is that? that is so cute. derek once woke up naked in the woods covered in what was probably a squirrel - derek is kind of… rough. sometimes. he also loves baking and is a genius with icing and puts so much effort into the application of those little edible ball bearings and making ginger cookies reminds him of his nana and banana bread smells like home….
so he spends weeks working up the courage to actually do it and almost punks out, but then one night he sees stiles trying to make his dad jog through the park and watches him wipe out over a bike rack running backwards and derek grins throw a batch of red velvet cupcakes, topped with homemade cream cheese frosting and little red sprinkles and he rings stiles doorbell at ten at night and hides in the bushes, watches when stiles picks the cupcakes up and gives them a sniff and when he’s inside derek keeps listening and hears stiles chewing then the softest “oh”
and that’s how the summer of mysterious baked goods begins. at least once a week something will show up for stiles. pecan tarts on the hood of his car, chocolate filled croissants on the porch swing, a single perfect blueberry danish in his locker at the gym - and stiles would be creeped out if he couldnt taste just how pure and sheepish and strong this person’s love is -
part of stiles knows the whole time who’s doing it, but he doesnt want to admit it to himself because he’s kind of afraid of hurting derek, but when he eats derek’s food he feels so full. not just in the stomach department, but his chest feels all stacked up and scott keeps saying “dude you’re like glowing” and sometimes his dad forgets to leave dinner in the oven when he’s at work if he knows there’s a ziplock container of brownies in the mailbox (and really, the excess containers are getting a little much, there’s a whole stack on the table, along with flattened brown boxes that usually has ‘HALE’S CAKES AND BAKES’ stamped on them, but no one ever brings it up to stiles because they know he knows)
and while derek is writing a love letter with his baked goods, stiles is desperately trying to figure out how he can be with derek without hurting him. because he’s always been so afraid of hurting people because he loves them, and he knows that scott is a werewolf, so maybe when scott offers to give him a kiss and try it out he knows it wont hurt him? so if they just peck, just… touch lips… and they do at the carnival, behind the stands at a car derby allison and erica are entered in, and it’s so weird but when stiles’ kisses him he can taste his own childhood, can remember what it was like to play with tonka trucks in a sandbox when he was six and how bad sunburns hurt when scott would whap them and he doesnt mean to kiss scott as hard as he does, but he’s just chasing memories through his mouth, seeing himself the way scott’s always seen him and the word brother is burned into his tongue and stiles’ heart just swells -
but then he hears a bunch of metal sheets smack the ground and when he pulls away from scott he realizes he kind of kissed him right down into the dirt and the backs of the food stands are right there including the little blue trailer that hale’s cakes and bakes rented to sell funnel cakes and cookies the size of your head and derek is just standing there in a white apron and a smock, looking exhausted and covered in powdered sugar and downright sad and stiles would follow him when he storms off, but scott looks like he’s having some sort of raven baxter ‘i see time’ experience so he has to stay (scott is fine and he says the kiss was probably the exact opposite of pain)
there’s like a week of radio silence and stiles is going to back to college so time is running up and it feels like everything is ruined, because he knows what it looks like. like he’s an oblivious tool who sucks up love from sweet sexy bakers and then hurts their feelings… but stiles is stubborn and he isnt going to give up easy and maybe scott lets it slip that the reason derek is always hanging around them is because he’s a werewolf too, a born werewolf, and they tend to be shy and pack oriented but scott will admit that when stiles isnt there derek constantly wants to know where he is and that he definitely has the capacity to get a banana loaf onto stiles’ bedroom desk without anyone knowing he was ever in the house and that maybe derek thought that stiles was returning the flirtation by eating his food and he might be avoiding scott because he thinks he was encroaching on their obvious relationship this whole time
which just wont do because stiles was definitely returning the flirtation, but if derek is shy and supernaturally weird then they are a match made in heaven so stiles gets a recipe from online and makes the shittiest little from scratch cake, puts on the icing before it cools all the way and it’s lumpy and weird but he knows derek will like it, he knows and he writes ‘im sorry’ on it but he fucks it up a bunch of times and his dad comes in and watches him for a while then gets shooed out when he starts licking the bowl and stiles drives over to the bakery and sits in the parking lot, waiting for it to be less full of people before he finally goes in 20 minutes before they close and derek’s sisters are out front and dont look all that happy to see them, but he shows them the cake and laura laughs but cora just gives him a knowing sort of smile and they let him go in the back room where derek is moping in an office in his dirty baking smock, playing solitaire, and stiles panics and kind of shoves the cake at him and derek stares at it and he has a fork behind his ear for sampling so he watches stiles as he takes a bite and says “i can taste the eggs”
stiles says “you cant taste the love?” and feels like he’s missed a step going down a staircase and derek’s face goes red and he asks “love tastes like eggs?”
stiles mumbles “well mine does. we all can’t be masterchef, derek.”
and maybe they talk about some stuff and maybe derek takes a picture of the cake and then stiles throws it out and maybe stiles follows him around while he cleans up the kitchen and asks him about how he got all those baked goods in his house and if he meant for stiles to gain the inevitable 15 pounds and maybe they could hang out while stiles is in school and then when the shop is closed and derek hears that his sisters are gone he hoists stiles up onto the counter and just holds on to him, sniffing, and stiles pets the flour out of his hair and waits and he can do this, it wasnt so bad with scott but when they kiss it’s so much more than it was with scott
it’s like comparing a warm spring day with the middle of the sun because derek just ignites him with dozens of late nights watching batter rise and fighting with his own tangled tongue to say more to stiles, to say something important, something that would make stiles understand all of the weekends derek went down to visit scott at school he was actually visiting stiles and that when he found out their weird sweet syrup smell that followed stiles around was because he was a succubus and that he wasnt hollow cheeked and tired looking from term papers and ramen but because home cooked meals kept him going and how derek worried about him every night, how he poured everything into mixing bowls because that’s what he’s always done and - and - and -
stiles feels like that little voice that always tells him he’s hungry, hungry, so hungry eat something kiss something fuck someone destroy everything shuts right the hell up and he puts his hands on derek’s face, feels the scruff and the fangs against his lips and their both all fangy and weird eyed, just staring at each other in the stainless steel kitchen, with its yellow walls and big ‘HOME IS WHERE WE BAKE BANANA BREAD’ customized sign with all 37 members of the hale family in a huge photo sitting out on his lawn from when derek was 17 and they opened the bakery. stiles smells like banana bread sometimes.
derek asks “are you hungry?” with his fangs all garbling everything but he doesnt feel rough or scary, not with stiles. especially when stiles says, “absolutely stuffed… but i could eat.”
shrieks of joy that break the sound barrier are coming from me
I went to two parties last night.
At the first one, I had my first ever anxiety attack.
At the second one I made a girl come eight times.
I preferred the second one.